Morgan Deane's

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Acceptance (Stage 5)

Acceptance is the last emotional stage that we go through during a divorce. When all of the hurt and pain finally go away (and it will) you’ll begin to accept that your marriage didn’t work, but that you are now ready to move on with the rest of your life, taking with you the lessons you’ve learned along the way. At the beginning of a divorce, it’s very hard to imagine the day that you’ll finally be at peace with what has happened to your life, but time really and truly does heal. Good old ‘Father Time’  has his arms around us all. You’ve just got to have faith. It...

Meeting New Friends

When you go through a divorce and you find yourself faced with the need to build a new support group, it can be a pretty scary thing. When you have children and responsibilities, it can seem like you will never find the time to go out and meet new people and even if you did, where would you begin? It isn’t like school anymore. Adults can be closed off to other strangers. People have busy lives and generally don’t look to make new friends so often at our age. Well, I’m here to remind you, divorce is happening everywhere in South Africa. There are a lot of people going through...

Loss of Friendships in Divorce

A by-product of divorce is nearly always the loss of friendships. When I moved to South Africa, I didn’t have a single friend in this country, other than my now ex-husband. At the time, he seemed more than enough. Romeo, o’ Romeo. I figured that once I had him in my life, I would be A-Okay, and I was confident that I would eventually build my own little circle of friends. You see, that was the plan, but once I settled into South African life, I discovered quite quickly that my ex travelled in a very exclusive little clique. Because the opportunity didn’t really present itself for me to make...

Relocation Part 2 (What do I need?)

What is required in order to seek relocation from the judge? Ok here is a list of what you will need to gather. • Keep a diary! You will benefit hugely from this, and you can actually take it on to the stand with you when you finally get into court – provided it’s been updated consistently throughout the separation. Notes and papers can’t be taken on to the stand. A diary is a great way to recall dates and incidents at the drop of a hat, if need be. • Keep a record of the contact the child has had with his/ her father. Make notes of when scheduled...

Relocation Part 1

As you’re aware by now, I’m Irish – from the land of leprechauns –and Guinness, of course. I’ve never quite got the whole Guinness thing. I really find it an unpleasant beverage, but who am I to question the great Arthur’s signature drink that has quenched the thirst of so many men over the past 100 years? Cheers to Arthur. Ireland sits far up the globe, way north of South Africa. No, it’s not part of Britain and it’s not part of the United Kingdom. (You would be surprised: I get asked that a lot.) It’s a freestanding, lovely, neutral little country that generally tries to keep its nose clean....

A Date? With Me? Eh…….

So maybe you’re at the stage where, after your divorce, you’re ready to mingle with the opposite sex again. When you first receive an invitation to go on a date, it’s very natural to make excuses not to go, because taking the plunge is as scary as hell: “Oh, I’ve got plans that night,” or “I can’t find a babysitter.” The idea of going on what really is an interview with a brand-new person can be daunting. After all, what do you talk to a stranger about? “So, where are you from? What do you do? Why are you single? What the hell is wrong with you?” Yes, these are...

Shock! Stage 1.

Shock has the ability to paralyse us at the beginning of a divorce. This is where you actually need to make some of the biggest decisions of your life, whether it be about your legal approach to the divorce, your financial situation or your future plans to raise your children, but here’s the catch, this will be when you are least mentally capable and driven, to think logically. This is the stage where you will need all of your support group to kick in and hold you up at either side, when all you want to do is fall to your knees and stay there. This is the first stage...

Does Your Divorce Make You Feel Angry?

When one is going through a divorce it is very common to feel anger. According to psychologist and author Elizabeth Kubler Ross, anger is one of the 5 emotional stages of grief. They are shock, denial, anger, bargaining and acceptance. Today I want to talk about anger and its power to consume us, if allowed. Anger is a universal experience, and it can cause us to lose sight of a situation. It has the ability to consume us. I know! At the beginning of my divorce, I was angry as hell. My anger was my biggest tormentor. I even took to social media to try to shame my ex. I...

What is a Parenting Plan?

Making this new transition (your divorce) harmonious and amicable will help to protect your child against emotional damage that can easily be inflicted during a divorce. We can become so consumed by our own emotions that our child’s emotional state is overlooked. Always remember that this is a very difficult time for your child, too. Their whole little world has been ripped apart, just as yours has. Ensuring that the child does not feel abandoned by either parent helps them to remain feeling secure within the family. After all, the child didn’t ask for this, so learning that Mom and Dad don’t want to live together any longer can feel...

The Prenup

Alright. So, do you know the Kanye West lyrics: “ We want prenup, we want prenup. It’s something that you need to have coz when she leaves your a**, she’s gonna leave with half.” Ever wonder what the heck he was singing about? Well, here’s what: If you are already going through a divorce, your prenup(prenuptial agreement) would, most likely, already be in place. This is a contract that is signed before you get married. It’s usually put in place by the person who has the most money in order to protect their estate in the event of the marriage failing.The party entering the marriage with no assets will be...