Advice

Category

What is a Parenting Plan?

Making this new transition (your divorce) harmonious and amicable will help to protect your child against emotional damage that can easily be inflicted during a divorce. We can become so consumed by our own emotions that our child’s emotional state is overlooked. Always remember that this is a very difficult time for your child, too. Their whole little world has been ripped apart, just as yours has. Ensuring that the child does not feel abandoned by either parent helps them to remain feeling secure within the family. After all, the child didn’t ask for this, so learning that Mom and Dad don’t want to live together any longer can feel...

Focusing On Your Child

Once you and your spouse have made the decision that divorce is now the way forward, making this new transition harmonious and amicable will help to protect your child against emotional damage that can easily be inflicted during a divorce. We can become so consumed by our own emotions that our child’s emotional state is overlooked. Always remember that this is a very difficult time for your child, too. Their whole little world has been ripped apart, just as yours has. Ensuring that the child does not feel abandoned by either parent helps them to remain secure within the family. After all, the child didn’t ask for this, so learning...

The War Of The Roses – Your Attorney

Okay, so you know that there’s no turning back. You see it, you feel it; the curtains have come down on your marriage. May it rest in peace. Amen. Peace? Hah! Now the war begins for real, so, you’d better equip yourself with some balls and a good attorney. One of the greatest things to be able to master, in divorce, is fighting for your rights affectively but remaining at absolute peace within yourself and while dealing with your ex. What happens on paper should not affect your relationship with your ex. Now that is a skill. A skill that you will benefit from greatly. Granted that’s easier said than...

Independence Day

One of the scariest parts of divorce can be regaining your independence. The pain of losing your marriage is bad enough but now supposing you’re one of the millions of women that because of divorce, for the first time in a long time, you have got to ‘stand on your own two feet’. You’ve got to reclaim your independence. That statement can mean so much more than just living alone. It may mean finding a new job, a whole new career or finding your own accommodation. It’s attending birthdays and dinner parties alone. Its dining alone. Parenting alone. Its readjusting your thought process and learning to believe in yourself. It...

Returning To The Beginning

My usual weight is 57kg. In the initial stages of my divorce, I plummeted to 50kg. I tried to fool myself into thinking I was finally losing the last of my baby weight after my pregnancies, but I wasn’t! I was underweight and undernourished and I wasn’t fuelling my body with enough food to allow my brain to cope. My body was going into shut down. I call this the divorce diet. I was irritable and emotional and I needed help, but I was too stubborn to seek it. I was losing about a kilogram a week and I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t want to, either. I was tired...

Introduction

I am lucky enough to live in a beautiful house. It’s all white inside: White walls; white furniture and white floors. It’s airy and has lots of big windows. In the eyes of the world, it’s a real “winner’s” home, but it became my prison. The walls were cemented with heartbreak and glossed with tears. The roof concealed the angry arguments and ghostly images of a couple that “just couldn’t” anymore. I remember the days that I would drop to my knees, talking to a God that, at the time, I wasn’t sure even existed. I begged Him to help me understand why everything had happened, or at least to...