Diamonds Are Forever

When do we lay that wedding ring to rest? I’m not too sure how I feel about this one. I stopped wearing mine nine months into our separation. I contemplated chopping my whole finger off – not because I self-mutilate, but because I couldn’t think why I would ever need a wedding ring finger again. That’s a bit extreme, I know, but desperate times call for desperate measures. What if someone very sneaky and manipulative entered my life and I found myself in a position where I actually agreed to get married again?The horror! So, to ensure that couldn’t happen, I thought: “Let me just dispose of this silly old...

Five Of The Letters In Depressing make Dress

Are you one of those extremely mature people who can move on gracefully with your life while keeping all of the old memorabilia from your past relationships? If so, well done. Really and truly, I take my hat off to you. But if it has been a bad divorce (ahem), then your knee-jerk reaction might be to douse everything in petrol and watch it burn (that is if you have some tendencies towards arson) Or, on a smaller scale, you may be tempted to build a little fire and chuck everything into it. But destroying all of your memories is just plain silly. You should probably keep your photos, especially...

Focusing On Your Child

Once you and your spouse have made the decision that divorce is now the way forward, making this new transition harmonious and amicable will help to protect your child against emotional damage that can easily be inflicted during a divorce. We can become so consumed by our own emotions that our child’s emotional state is overlooked. Always remember that this is a very difficult time for your child, too. Their whole little world has been ripped apart, just as yours has. Ensuring that the child does not feel abandoned by either parent helps them to remain secure within the family. After all, the child didn’t ask for this, so learning...

Our Children, Our Everything

I suffered a miscarriage in 2011. I lost my baby at 12 weeks. It was heartbreaking and a very difficult experience to explain to someone who hasn’t gone through it. It’s a strange feeling to mourn the loss of someone you’ve never met or held. I stood in the bathroom of my parents’ home, waiting for the line to appear. There it was. I was two to three weeks pregnant. I began to bond with that little being immediately. I imagined what he or she might look like; thought of what I might call him/ her; and rubbed my tummy affectionately, wearing that I’ve-got-a-secret smile. As much as your partner...

Quick Tips – When It Comes To Your Attorney

If you have chosen to go down the route of hiring an attorney, it is important to know where you stand with them. It is important to know that it is a long and expensive journey. Here are a few facts to consider when looking at the relationship between you and your attorney:   1) When you enter into a legal contract with your attorney (when you retain them), he/ she is legally bound to keep every conversation between you confidential. 2)  You are not your attorney’s only client, so don’t call them every day expecting them to be thinking about your case, or expect them to constantly have time...

The War Of The Roses – Your Attorney

Okay, so you know that there’s no turning back. You see it, you feel it; the curtains have come down on your marriage. May it rest in peace. Amen. Peace? Hah! Now the war begins for real, so, you’d better equip yourself with some balls and a good attorney. One of the greatest things to be able to master, in divorce, is fighting for your rights affectively but remaining at absolute peace within yourself and while dealing with your ex. What happens on paper should not affect your relationship with your ex. Now that is a skill. A skill that you will benefit from greatly. Granted that’s easier said than...

Independence Day

One of the scariest parts of divorce can be regaining your independence. The pain of losing your marriage is bad enough but now supposing you’re one of the millions of women that because of divorce, for the first time in a long time, you have got to ‘stand on your own two feet’. You’ve got to reclaim your independence. That statement can mean so much more than just living alone. It may mean finding a new job, a whole new career or finding your own accommodation. It’s attending birthdays and dinner parties alone. Its dining alone. Parenting alone. Its readjusting your thought process and learning to believe in yourself. It...